分卷阅读47（2 / 2）

“I’m not trying to torture you,” Draco said softly, squeezing Potter’s hand. “I just want you to realise—Hey.” He put a finger under Potter’s chin, unwilling to let him avoid his gaze. “Do you know how ironic this is? I’m the one with all the flaws.” His face twisted in disgust at his own words. “I’m the one…who doesn’t deserve you.”

Potter made a choking sound.

“Yes, you gave me those scars,” Draco continued, his chest tightening as Potter let out a muffled whimper, “but you did it because of this.” He held out his left arm where the Dark Mark was still visible. It had faded after the Dark Lord’s death, but there was no way of hiding it. “This is a constant reminder of the mistakes I made. I have to look at this every day. But I can’t change the past. It took me a long time to understand that. And it took me even longer to realise I don’t have to. Building a new life, when all you have as a foundation are ruins, isn’t easy. But it’s not impossible.”

This time, it was Draco who couldn’t hold Potter’s gaze. He stared at their joined hands in his lap, feeling like a fool.

“You sound like a cheesy motivational quote,” Potter muttered, and Draco could almost hear a hint of a smile in his voice. “I’m sorry, Draco,” he said after a moment, sounding much gloomier. “I’m sorry for…what I did to you.”

“I know you are. I’m sorry, too.”

“Um…” Potter hesitated, but Draco noticed his hand was creeping over to his. “Can I— Can I touch them?”

Draco felt an instant rush of panic shoot through him. No one had touched his scars before. But, given what they meant to him, there was probably no better person but Potter to be the first. It was almost as though they had come full circle.

Keeping his face as stoic as possible, he nodded.

Potter was hesitant as he lifted his hand. With a touch so feathery it almost tickled, he traced the longest scar on Draco’s chest.

“I thought Snape made sure it didn’t scar,” he muttered quietly.

“I guess it would have been worse if he hadn’t—” He broke off when Potter snatched away his hand and looked at him in horror. “Sorry. But I guess there’s no sugarcoating it. But hey, at least you didn’t get my face. You nearly did, though.” Draco turned his head and pushed his hair out of the way. He knew you could only see it if you looked closely. That scar had faded the most and it was tiny. But it was there, on his right cheek, right next to his ear.

Draco shivered inadvertently when Potter’s finger brushed his skin.

“You’re not going to beat yourself up about this again, are you?” he muttered, suppressing the urge to lean into Potter’s touch.

“It’s hard not to,” Potter retorted.

“Like I said, Potter, these scars are part of the past. But they’re also part of who I am today. They’re a good reminder, you know.”

He hoped Potter was able to hear the finality in his voice. As much as he wanted to help him, he didn’t want to talk about this anymore. He had already told Potter he didn’t deserve him. What else was there to say?

He drew his lower lip between his teeth when Potter shifted closer. For a breathtaking moment, he thought he was going to kiss him. Instead, Potter ran his fingers through Draco’s hair and gave him a piercing look.

“I do think you’re beautiful, but…” He twisted a strand of hair around his finger. “I like you because you’re you.”

It’s funny, isn’t it, how you can go through life, manage to let each day pass and come to terms with the fact that no one will ever feel a certain way about you, accept that your deepest desire is out of reach, not yours to have. So what do you do when that suddenly changes?